I imagine us in our youth, pre-Conner, when we would actually sit on our old deck on our old farm in Garwood, or ride around the old farm in the 'Yota or Jeep and drink a beer. We would talk and laugh and fall deeper in love everyday.
Here's what I wish I could tell you over a beer tonight, baby.
I got rehired as a HS principal tonight at our board meeting. I'm pretty excited about it and actually quite proud of myself, but it's difficult to be too happy because you aren't here to share it with. I've been working really hard; I still have much to learn, but am so humbled at the first opportunity that it still sometimes seems surreal that I'm where I am in my career. So to be asked to stay in my position for a while longer means I must be doing something right. I just wish so much I could hear you tell me you're proud.
Our little boy is growing so much it's ridiculous! He's growing as a student at EC. He really does say he likes it better at our new school; he isn't picked on nearly as much. No one makes fun of him for being a "farmer boy" or for NOT choosing to play sports. He is so smart! He is still in Beta Club and made a great grade on his math and science tests today! I know you'd be so incredibly proud of him.
He has made lots of new friends who love air soft wars just like he does! They don't care if he doesn't have name brand jeans or shoes; although luckily we did find some name brand shoes on sale the other day! Lol...
He left me a note tonight. Mom is staying the night since we knew my meeting would run late. Conner left the note atop my pillow with a set of pajamas and a phone charger. Of course he got in a plug about an expensive birthday present but who cares?! It's so sweet and adorable!
He reminds me of you so stinkin' much! You were never much on the note writing thing, but you sure knew how to melt my heart and so does he!
If we could sit and drink a beer right now I'd tell you how much I miss you and us. I can't believe it's 14 months next week and that I'm just supposed to keep moving right along with life. Don't get me wrong, I've arrived at the point where I'm ready to take steps forward, as I've said in my recent posts, but baby, I shouldn't HAVE TO! We should still be together. We should still have each other to hold and love, to laugh with and cry with, to kiss and marvel at. There are so many things we should still be doing. But God had other plans.
I think God feels badly for what happens to good people; He doesn't ever mean for bad things to happen to good people, they just do. I think God cries when we cry; I think His heart breaks when ours breaks. I think God whispers to us all along the road of heartache and despair to just keep taking one step forward. To just keep breathing. To just keep believing that He will never forsake us, no matter what sucky stuff life throws our way.
I sure wish you and I could talk about it.
But for now, I'm going to close my eyes and try to sleep, thanking The Good Lord above for our son who left me that beautiful and perfect note; for the job opportunity I received last summer and for the extended offer to stay; for my 13 years beside you, and for so much more.
I love you, Michael Richard Hollis, and if we could sit right now and drink a beer, I just bet we could solve all the world's problems. ;)
Love, NFAxI...
Your high school principal (FINALLY HUH?;) wife,
Veronica
#stillhis with #anewlife
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