Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Our Boy is 13...

Dear Conner,

Today is your day, Bub. The big 13!!!! I can't believe it!! Momma cannot believe that you are so grown up!  The day you were born every dream I had ever had came true. I held your tiny little body in my hands and whispered how much I had longed for you. I had prayed for you. I had wanted nothing more in life than to be a mom, to be your mom.

You have grown so much in the past 13 years and even more in the last two years, four months, and 19 days since we lost your daddy. I am so incredibly proud of you. You are a wild, ornery, silly little boy who has the wisdom beyond any measure of age. You have learned to accept loss. You have learned to move forward in small steps even if you take a few steps back after. You have learned to never give up on me.

Conner, you have carried more on your young shoulders than anyone should have to. You have held your momma's hand while we prayed, held her close while we cried, and promised her things will get better over and over again. You have been momma's saving grace. I am more proud of you and of the young man you are becoming, and of the man I know you will one day be. You have so much of your father in you and I smile with memories every time I see or hear another little glimmer.

You are so creative, son, just like your daddy. Your artwork is phenomenal and I love that it is your therapy, like writing is for me. You are so funny, in that subtle and witty way that I crack up at every time you just come up with something on the fly. Your love of music comes from us both. Your smile is a mix of each of our dimples and that makes your smile stellar.

Your gentle heart that breaks when you watch a sad movie, hurts when someone you love is sick or hurting, that misses your daddy so much...is the most powerful piece of you. It is what will help you continue in your path of healing. On your path toward manhood. You make me so in resibly proud that my heart could burst!!!!

I am SO beyond blessed to be your mom and I love you MORE THAN WORDS!!!!

Happy 13th Birthday my baby boy. Daddy and I love you and hope your day is amazing, just like you!

Love, Mom







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