I have goals today that I need to accomplish; simple tasks really, but at least I have goals. A few months ago my only goal was to survive by forcing myself to breathe in and breathe out.
Grief can throw us to the ground and stomp our guts out, leaving us breathless and without a view of the future. It still drop kicks me in the throat some days, but I won't let it today.
Today I will think more about the conversation my son and I had on our deck a few weeks back. The conversation I discussed in a previous post about deciding to live while we still can so that we can take great stories to Daddy.
I will also think about my new adventure as a high school principal. When I first accepted the job a few weeks ago. I struggled with being excited for the opportunity, which I see as a blessing from God and Mike, because I didn't have the one person with whom I wanted most to share the excitement. Today I am excited.
I am excited to learn new things, to be the kind of principal I would want to work for, to work hard every single day at doing the best job I can. I've always worked hard, no matter if it was at the fast food joints in our tourist town, in the grocery store I worked at through college, or within the school districts for which I've taught. I will work hard. And I'll do it not only for Mike, but also for my son and for myself. I want to be proud of myself. I want to feel confident in my abilities and in a job well done.
So today is a new day. It's a new kind of post. We are approaching the 7 month mark in a couple of weeks and time is flying by. I don't want to see it fly by until the end of my time and I look back and realize all I did was mourn to the point of no promise of hope every single day. I have hope today. We can't go wrong with hope.
I love you and miss you endlessly Babe, and I have to make stories to tell you when I come running!
NFAxI...#stillhis
Love,
Veronica
No comments:
Post a Comment